5 Tips for Crafting Realistic Dialogue

Thank you, Book-n-Kisses, for letting me participate in this fantastic series!  And thank you, writers and readers, for joining us.  I’m Dianne Duvall, author of the Immortal Guardians paranormal romance series.  One of my favorite things to hear from readers is that they enjoy the banter in which my characters engage.  Dialogue is a crucial part of creating likable characters and of making characters who aren’t real—such as glowing-eyed, fang-sporting, centuries-old immortal warriors—seem real.  So I thought I would offer the following five tips for crafting realistic dialogue:

1

Word choices should be tailored to each character’s age and background.

This is actually a pretty easy one to remember.  If you’ve ever been to a gathering that included men and women of all age groups, then you probably noticed the differences in their vocabulary.  Men and women in their eighties or nineties, for instance, who don’t spend time online or watch a lot of popular TV shows, don’t use the slang of the younger generations.  They instead tend to use slang that was popular in their youth.  Baby Boomers may use slang that is common today because they’re more plugged in to today’s technology, but also continue to use slang from the 60s and 70s.  Generation Xers likewise sometimes use words and phrases that were popular in the 80s.  And keeping this in mind will help you create more realistic dialogue when you write.

How about an example?  In my latest release, NIGHT UNBOUND, Zach (the hero) has been declared a traitor or enemy by Seth, the Immortal Guardians’ leader.  When Zach unexpectedly appears at the home of Lisette (the heroine) after escaping months of torture, she enlists the aid of a couple of immortal friends to help her patch him up.  Ethan arrives first:

“I am so glad you called,” he said, flashing her a boyish grin.  “I really need to get laid tonight.”

Rolling her eyes, Lisette stepped back and waited for him to enter.  “When I said I needed you, I meant I needed your help.”  Closing the door, she locked it, but didn’t bother to reset the alarm.

His face fell.  “Ah, hell.  You mean this wasn’t a butt call?”

“Booty call, Ethan.  I believe the term is booty call.  Honestly, I’m a hundred and thirty years older than you and from France.  How can I be more familiar with American slang than you are?  You were born here.”

He shrugged.  “I don’t watch a lot of television and my Second is going on sixty.  Neither one of us keeps up with whatever the hip kids are saying these days.”

“First, I don’t think anyone says hip anymore.  And second, Ed is going on sixty?”

“Yeah.”

“Damn.  He looks like he’s in his late thirties.”  He was actually pretty hot.

“I know, right?  He dates more than I do.” 

I could’ve just had Ethan stroll inside and ask Lisette what she needed him to do.  Instead I opted for the dialogue above, which gives readers more insights into the characters, their ages, and their personalities.

2

People interrupt each other and talk over each other all the time. 

This is especially true in the case of friends and family.  (If you’d like some good examples of this, pick up just about any Woody Allen movie.)  And it doesn’t only happen during arguments.  It isn’t intentionally done to be rude.  It just happens.  One person will see where the other is going and will either finish the sentence for her or cut her off to save time or correct her.  Here’s another example from the same scene mentioned above:

It appeared she was back to square one.  “What should I do?” 

He took in the patient once more and pursed his lips.  “I think you’re going to have to call in the big guns.”

“I told you, Seth doesn’t like him.  If he—”

“Not Seth.  Seth isn’t the big guns.  Seth is the f***ing hydrogen bomb.”

“Ethan.”

“Bastien.  I meant Bastien.” 

Again, I could’ve just had Ethan suggest Lisette call Bastien when she asked what she should do.  But this accomplished two goals:  It made the dialogue seem more realistic.  Two people involved in a conversation aren’t always on the same page.  And one will often interrupt the other off to clarify his or her point.  This also allowed me to slip in a little background information on both Seth and Bastien for readers who may not have read the earlier books in the series. 

3

Conversations often are not linear.

Conversations may start with one destination in mind, but frequently veer away and explore other tangents before reaching it.  Case in point, how many times have you been talking with a friend or family member and said, “Oh, that reminds me . . .”?   I could have continued the aforementioned scene by having Bastien arrive, ask what task Lisette wished him to perform, then either follow her instructions or deny her request.  Instead, I chose to have Lisette lead Bastien to the battered and broken hero (Zach) and mistakenly assume Bastien would draw the conclusion that she was in need of his first aid skills.  He didn’t.  He drew the same conclusion Ethan drew upon first seeing Zach:

Bastien nodded to Ethan, then stared down at Zach.  After a few moments, he looked around.  “Where’s the shovel?”

Ethan coughed to cover a laugh.

“I didn’t kill him!” Lisette nearly shouted. 

Bastien shifted his gaze to Ethan.

Ethan held up his hands.  “Don’t look at me.  I didn’t kill him.”

“He isn’t dead,” Lisette snapped.  “And I’m not into rough sex!”

Bastien stared at her.  “Ooookay.” 

She frowned.  “Isn’t that what you thought had happened?  That I had killed him during sex?”

“No.  I just assumed he had pissed you off.”

“Oh.”  Her face heated with a blush.

Bastien’s lips twitched.

And Ethan was enjoying this way too much, damn him.

She counted to ten.  “Why would the two of you think I would call you over here to bury him?  It’s not like I don’t have the strength to lift him and do it myself.”

Ethan shrugged.  “You’re a girl.” 

Lisette glared at them both.  “And, what, you think I don’t want to get my pretty little hands dirty?”

No response.

“You do know I kill vampires for a living, right?”

Bastien pointed at Ethan.  “He said it, not me.”

“But you were thinking it.”

He scowled.  “Are you reading my thoughts again, telepath?”

“I didn’t have to.  It was all over your face.  Besides, I stopped peeking into your head a long time ago because all you ever think about is Melanie naked and your vampire friends.”

Ethan’s eyebrows shot up.  “He thinks about Melanie naked with his vampire friends?” 

Bastien popped him on the back of the head.

“Ow!  Sh**!”

Lisette pinched the bridge of her nose.  “Let us return to the subject at hand, shall we? 

Much more entertaining than Lisette simply saying, “Can you patch up Zach’s wounds?” and having Bastien say yay or nay.  This shows the rapport these characters share and gives more insight into their personalities.  The dialogue meanders as conversations often do and, thus, comes across as more realistic. 

4

Speech isn’t perfect.  Sometimes people just can’t find the right words.

If your character is furious or rattled or tired or just plain doesn’t know the right thing to say in a particular situation, don’t be afraid to add a stutter or a pause.  Both are great ways to show a character is upset, flustered, etc, rather than telling readers he or she is upset.  Here’s a quick example.

Lisette gaped at him.  “After you just . . . And all that bitching and moaning . . . You can’t . . . ”  She clenched her teeth.  “Tell me again why you’re here?”

I could’ve said, She was so angry that words escaped her, or She was so angry she couldn’t think straight.  But that would have told readers, which is considered passive writing.  This showed them instead.

5

Read your dialogue aloud to ensure it flows smoothly.

I have slaughtered many a foreign accent doing just that with my Immortal Guardians series, but have always liked the changes it generated.

I know a well-constructed plot is essential for writing a good book.  But creating likable, relatable characters whom readers can enjoy is just as important.  Crafting realistic dialogue will go a long way toward helping you accomplish that.

Thank you again for joining me here at Books-n-Kisses!  I hope your writing will flow smoothly and that these tips will help.

*****
Let’s take a closer look at Dianne’s upcoming release (tomorrow) Night Unbound 

Amazon| B&NDianne Duvall’s Immortal Guardians protect humanity from unspeakable horrors–but their hearts are as fragile as any mortal’s. . .

For centuries, Lisette d’Alençon has been a warrior against the dark. She fights alongside her brothers and comrades. But when the dreams start coming, she can’t bear to confess them to the Immortal Guardians’ command. Dreams of a dark-haired man with soft eyes and brutal wounds, a man her heart aches for–and a man she knows has been declared a traitor.

Zach is an exile, a loner. He won’t defend himself against false accusations or grovel to those who should have faith in him. But he’ll damn sure defend the woman who kept him sane against a plague of super-vamps that seems to have appeared from nowhere. The Guardians will blame him, and that will make Lisette suspect, too. With life, death and eternity on the line, who can they really trust?

A little about Dianne: 

New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author Dianne Duvall earned a bachelor’s degree in English from the University of St. Thomas, where she studied fiction writing, playwriting, and poetry writing. Darkness Dawns, the first book in her Immortal Guardians paranormal romance series, was nominated for the RT Reviewers’ Choice Award for Best Vampire Romance by RT Book Reviews and for Best Paranormal Romance – Vampire by The Romance Reviews. It was also deemed a Top Pick by The Romance Reviews and a Best Book by Long and Short Reviews. Night Reigns, the second book in the series, was nominated for Best Best Book of 2011 – Paranormal Romance by The Romance Reviews and declared an “utterly addictive” Top Pick by RT Book Reviews. Phantom Shadows, the third book in the series, has been declared a Top Pick by both The Romance Reviews and Night Owl Reviews. Her Immortal Guardians novella In Still Darkness was released in the Predatory anthology on May 7, 2013, and has received many fabulous reviews. Darkness Rises, the fourth book in the series, hit the USA Today Bestseller list, has been nominated for the RT Reviewers’ Choice Award for Best Vampire Romance by RT Book Reviews and was deemed a Night Owl Reviews Top Pick.

Dianne has also completed two not-yet-published paranormal romance novels that are prequels to Darkness Dawns. A Sorceress of His Own is a medieval romance with paranormal elements that won awards in the Lone Star, Where the Magic Begins, Southern Heat, Picture This, Book of Your Heart and Suzannah national writing competitions. Rendezvous With Yesterday is a time travel romance and won second place in the Picture This writing contest.

In addition to writing romance, Dianne has completed a one-act play (comedy) and teamed up with an award-wining screenwriter to write a spec script for a new situation comedy. Several of her poems have also been published in anthologies.

When she isn’t writing, Dianne is very active in the independent film industry and once even appeared on screen as a machete-weilding maniac not unlike the vampires she so loves to create in her novels.

*****

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