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Writer’s Tips & Tricks Day 20: Sex scenes….by Lila DiPasqua

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Sex scenes….Key elements to writing a love scene that readers won’t want to skip by Lila DiPasqua 

Let’s face it—writing a sex scene isn’t easy.

First, you’ve got to forget about what your friends, family, or neighbors are going to think. There’s no way you can even begin to write a solid sex scene if you’re censoring yourself out of fear of what people may say.

A love scene between your protagonists doesn’t mean you’re giving people a peek into your own bedroom window. You’ve created a work of fiction with sympathetic characters, their world, and a gripping plot. Your main characters are behaving in a way that’s in keeping with your storyline and their personalities.

And writing a sex scene that your readers will love and won’t skip is all you need to worry about. 😉

A MOTH TO A FLAME…The irresistible buildup!

You know how the saying goes, “Like a moth to a flame.” The moth is irresistibly attracted to the flame. It knows the flame is dangerous. Get too close and you could be burned. But oh, my God…There’s just no resisting that alluring heat. 😉 You want your characters to be anxious for that love scene to happen! You want to build anticipation. The most erotic part of the body to stroke is the brain. In building the anticipation in the minds of your characters, you build the anticipation for the reader, too.

They’ll want to read that upcoming love scene!

So, how do you go about building anticipation? Through sexual tension.

Even if your protagonists are going to have sex the first night they meet, you still need a buildup of sexual tension. Sexual tension is created by the characters having a strong awareness of each other. That means, when you’re in a character’s Point Of View (POV), go deep.

For instance, if we’re in the hero’s POV and he sees the heroine for the first time as she walks into the boardroom, describing how good she looks in her business attire isn’t going to cut it. Go deeper. Show the reader that he’s not only aware of her, but also what it does to him having her in that boardroom. She’s pure distraction. And she’s wreaking havoc on his concentration, and his body. There are natural physical reactions that occur in the body when we zero in on someone whom we have a physical attraction to.

Describe for the reader those very same reactions happening in your characters.

And, with every interaction between your protagonists, that sexual tension must heighten. More awareness. And more physical reactions.

You’ll have everyone anxious for that love scene to happen!

ADVANCING THE PLOT: It’s not just sex! Sex moves the story forward!

So, now that you have everyone breathless with anticipation, and your characters are in the bedroom, ready to begin….What makes one love scene sizzle? While another falls flat?

The answer: A generic sex scene.

It’s the kiss of death.

Believe it or not, no sex scene should be just about sex acts and sexual positions. Though you can make the scene as titillating as you like, the love scene must have a purpose and that purpose is the same as for any other scene in your book—to move the story forward.

Either it advances the plot. Or it contributes to the character arc (growth) of one or more of the protagonists. Or it ratchets up the conflict in the story. (Or all of the above). If all you’re doing is describing the sex act in the scene—right hand here, left hand there—you’ve got a gratuitous scene. And chances are you’ve written a generic sex scene.

Here’s the test: if you can swap out the names of your main characters and insert any other names of, say, the characters of your favorite romance novel, and the love scene still works—that’s a generic love scene.

Each and every love scene you write should be unique to that story and those characters. And it must move the story forward. Or you should skip writing it.

Your readers may very well skip reading it. So, keep it interesting! Hold your readers’ attention by making the love scene multi-faceted—where far more than sex is going on!

DIALOGUE: No silent protagonists, please!

Yup, they should talk during a sex scene. Not about the weather. But there should be relevant dialogue—relevant to the characters’ personalities, the plot, and the stage in the story they’re in.

You have many scenes in your book full of dialogue. You’ve worked hard to create your protagonists’ personalities. So, don’t let their personalities fall away with their clothes. I’m a big fan of bedroom talk. I think it’s very sexy. But you don’t have to write a ton of sex talk.  Just make sure that your protagonists’ personalities still come through, even during intimacy. Do you have a funny hero? That should come through in the dialogue during sex, too. Does your heroine have some kind of quirk or habit? Yup, that should be present there, as well.

Maintain your characters’ character even during sex. And dialogue always makes any scene more interesting.

THE ROUND UP!

Sensations, sensations, sensations. Did I mention sensations? 🙂 Don’t miss a single opportunity to describe the sensations your characters are feeling during sex. That means every brush of the lips, every graze of the hand, every…er…well, nuff said.

Each time your characters have sex, they should grow a little more vulnerable to each other. Soft feelings should strengthen each time and become more and more intermixed with raw desire. Use your sex scene to show how these characters feel about each other. If you’ve done it right, your love scene has relevance. It’s unique to the story. And meaningful. It won’t feel like any other sex scene others have written. And readers won’t skip your much-anticipated love scene. Not when those engaging story developments are occurring that they just don’t want to miss. 🙂

 

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Let’s take a look at Lila’s

The Duke’s Match Girl – A Fiery Tale Novella

Fiery Tales #4.5

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From bestselling author Lila DiPasqua comes a scorching new historical romance novella in the acclaimed Fiery Tales series! An emotional, erotically charged retelling of Hans Christian Andersen’s The Little Match Girl.As childhood friends, Leopold d’Ermart and Suzanne Matchet were inseparable. One unforgettable Christmas Eve, their relationship changed from the best of friends…to lovers. But the heir of the Duke of Mont-Marly isn’t supposed to fall in love with the daughter of his family’s physician. Or vice versa.Is this a second chance at first love?Years later, Suzanne is dreading her first Christmas without her father. The heartbreak Leo caused when he left seven years ago is a distant memory. And she prefers to keep it that way. The last thing Suzanne expects is for tall, dark, and sinfully seductive Leo d’Ermart to show up at her door and announce he wants her back in his life. And in his bed. Worse, the now celebrated libertine is even more devastating to a woman’s senses than ever before…

Or are they playing with fire?

The only woman Leo, Duke of Mont-Marly, has ever yearned for is the adorably unconventional, intelligent beauty who got away. He discovers Suzanne creating and selling matchsticks, elixirs for the ill…and is still so damned alluring. Leo is determined to show her the depth of his desire, win back Suzanne’s heart. And give her a Christmas beyond her wildest imagination…

Warning: Explicit language and love scenes. 32,000 word novella.

 

Lila DiPasqua 2A little about Lila:

Lila DiPasqua is a USA TODAY bestselling author of historical romance with heat. (Best known for her critically acclaimed (erotically charged) Fiery Tales series.) She’s published by Penguin/Berkley, as well as having self-published works. She lives with her husband, three children and two rescue dogs and is a firm believer in the happily-ever-after. Find Lila at www.LilaDiPasqua.com. And on Facebook & Twitter.

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To Enter for a chance to win. 

GIVEAWAY QUESTION: What’s the last book that had you totally hooked and kept you up reading late into the night? One lucky commenter will win their choice of one of my Berkley published Fiery Tales novels: AWAKENED BY A KISS, THE PRINCESS IN HIS BED, or A MIDNIGHT DANCE (retail value $15). Winner’s choice! Open to the US/Canada.

Along with your email

(please use (AT) and (DOT) we don’t want any spam) 

*this giveaway is sponsored by the author*

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Make sure to check out all of the other stops on this month long tour HERE and enter the grand prize giveaway.

All winner’s will be picked at the end of the month and announce the 1st week of October. 
 

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a Rafflecopter giveaway
 

13 Responses to Writer’s Tips & Tricks Day 20: Sex scenes….by Lila DiPasqua

  1. erinf1 September 26, 2014 at 7:55 am #

    Magic Breaks by Ilona Andrews 😉 Thanks for sharing!

  2. Lisa Hutson September 26, 2014 at 12:22 pm #

    Then Came You by Jill Shavis. I have now read & listened to it 3 times. Fabulous!
    Thanks for the terrific post, Lila

    • Lila DiPasqua September 29, 2014 at 7:51 pm #

      Great author! And thank YOU for stopping by! 🙂

  3. Lise-Marie September 26, 2014 at 1:42 pm #

    Thanks! That was very helpful. Often when i write a “love” scene i get so excited…….well… I have to walk away from the computer. 😉

    • Lila DiPasqua September 29, 2014 at 7:52 pm #

      Hey, if you need a break, you need a break. 😉 🙂

  4. Janie McGaugh September 26, 2014 at 4:50 pm #

    Ilona Andrew’s Magic Breaks. Kate Daniels is one of my favorite characters (and there’s always Curran, too!).

    • Janie McGaugh September 26, 2014 at 4:50 pm #

      jmcgaugh (AT) semo (DOT) edu

    • Lila DiPasqua September 29, 2014 at 7:53 pm #

      Thanks, Janie! So glad you stopped by to share with me. 🙂

  5. Glenda September 26, 2014 at 8:45 pm #

    I get that way with any good book. Grace Burrowes’ Captive Hearts Trilogy did it for me most recently!

  6. Texas Book Lover September 27, 2014 at 9:51 am #

    Barefoot in Lace by Roxanne St. Claire. It’s the best of the series!

    Thanks so much!
    mmafsmith AT gmail DOT com

  7. Lila DiPasqua September 29, 2014 at 7:54 pm #

    I’ll have to check it out! Thank you! 🙂

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