Never Say Never

One thing a writer shouldn’t do—not as a law, just for good discipline—is tell themselves they are never going to write about something. Or worse, never write about it “again”. Because that’s like waving a red flag at your imagination. And I don’t know about you, but my imagination is a bull with boss issues. I only get to go where it says. Mind you, there are arguments, but between the two of us, I don’t win as much as I’d like.

And most of the time, that’s a very good thing. The right thing.

Let me explain. I can be what I like to call, a twitchy little cow. My brain analyzes patterns in everything and I can get obsessive about what those patterns are doing in my life and work. I’m not all “Beautiful Mind” about it, but it can be hard to ignore.

Now, an important theme in my life that comes through in my work is the topic of abuse. I see, every day, the effect scars of abuse can have on a person and its important to me that when the topic comes up in my books, it not be sugar coated or watered down. But I had come to realize that I had several books covering the topic and I didn’t want readers to start thinking it had become my “formula” or that I was using the theme to take a shortcut into their affection for my characters. No more, I said. Not for a long time. Because I don’t want to belittle victims in that way.

I didn’t say never, but apparently, it was close enough.

So there I was, having finished writing “The Virgin’s Revenge”, which is about a young woman trying to come out from under the protective range of her brothers, especially that of her eldest brother, Locke. The heroine’s best friend had nearly succeeded in stealing the book with her sassy jokes, mysterious past and particularly her curiously antagonistic relationship with the heroine’s brother. Susie Packard had entered my life.

My editor, never one to miss an angle on a story, immediately asked, So when are you writing Locke and Susie’s story?

I blinked several times. Uh….Locke and Susie’s story???

She pointed out that there was no way I hadn’t already planned it, it was too clear in the manuscript that these two had something going on. Like, immediately.

I was still blinking. You know why? Because the hints I had gotten from Susie’s past were clear earmarks of someone who had been hurt, very badly, by someone she loved. Possibly everyone she’d ever loved. And I’d just promised myself that I wasn’t going to write another character with abuse in her background.

Susie, if you’ll come to know her, is not the type to be told no when she sets her mind to something. Neither, for that matter, is Locke. I resisted, of course.

I have other jobs ahead of this.

I can’t quite commit at this time.

I already planned to write a different member of the family…

But no. The scenes started taking focus in my mind. I could see them so clearly. Both of them wanting to be together, but always, Susie pulled back. Time and again, her fear made her twist away, almost choking her with the desperation to flee. How could everything she wanted be contained in the personality of a man she knew would instinctively dominate their relationship? How could she, who was so broken and lost, possibly stand up to his kind of influence?

But then I saw her raise her chin. Saw her determination glitter in her eyes. Don’t dismiss me so easily…

This was a character who was more than she realized. Weighed down by her secrets and insecurities, she thought she was all bravado. She’d lost sight of what she had to offer, even to herself. Susie needed redemption for what she’d been through. And not from the people around her. But that wouldn’t be an easy road and she would never want to travel it. All the same, it seemed to be the road she was on.

Thats when I knew what I would be writing next. That was a story I hadn’t told. A story I don’t think many people even would know about. But one that had to be shared.

So I stopped fighting. And I found something beautiful. More than a love story that wrung me out and made me sigh. This book took part of my heart with it as it formed and wove it through the pages. But that’s okay. I have a feeling it will be safe there and hopefully, it can be part of something larger. Something meaningful to others. Others like Susie. And maybe a few others who could be like her. Others who have never known people like Susie were even out there.

Fact of the matter is, when a book is finished and goes out into the world, you don’t have any control over it or how people interpret it. They will love it, hate it, discard it or share it, all without your approval or consideration. As it should be.

But if authors allowed themselves to say never…well, those stories probably wouldn’t be there in the first place. So you give them wings and hope they fly. Fly to someone who will love them.

Maybe, someone like you.

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So tell me about you. Have you ever done something you ordered yourself not to do, only to find that it was the best choice you ever could have made? Leave an answer in the comments and be entered to win an ecopy of “Trust In Me”!